Have you figured out the money game and growing your income or business? What happens when you value financial success over the reasons you earn? Listen in and learn from my mistakes.
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Mistakes To Avoid When You Start Earning Big
We are going to take a deep dive into some of the mistakes that I made as I started to make a lot of money. The past weekend with family got me present to what true wealth is. We had Kara’s parents and her brothers and their kids. There are four nieces, they are all incredible. I love them. I throw them around in the pool, have a blast, and they all were at our house for the weekend playing in the pool. Then we had to go down to the beach, which pretty much buzz killed everything because when you go to the beach, it’s boring. We sit there and then you get sand in your car. I had to clean out my car and I’m cursing the beach. I’d rather go to the pool. It’s so much easier.
Playing with the kids, throwing them around, grilling out, having laughs, kicking back, enjoying, and relaxing. Sunday night, I go to golf with my wife and we played eighteen holes. I love playing golf with her. We have such a great time. We laugh. We sometimes cry with some of our shots. I hit my best score since the day before we got married. I got to tell her that. That was a long time ago since I put it around like this together. For me, that’s wealth.
Society tells us that making lots of money and accumulating lots of money will almost certainly make us happy. I’m here to tell you that’s not the case at all. That probably sounds strange coming from a guy who’s doing a show on indestructible wealth, financial wealth, and figuring out the money game. I want to make sure that you guys understand that although money and wealth are great, and trust me, I love making a lot of money. I love keeping and growing it.
At the end of the day, there’s always got to be a balance with your life. For me, that balance got out of whack. I’m going to explain what were some things that happened. Potentially, you can avoid this as you start growing your businesses, your income, and your portfolios. If your heart is not in the right place, then making more will not serve you. It will potentially lead to your own self-destruction. Don’t get me wrong. Don’t twist this into an excuse to not earn all you can and grow all that you can, or that money is the root of all evil. Money is incredibly important as we have talked about. It’s a tool, and that’s all it is.
Here’s what I discovered through some pretty serious introspection after having a pretty high earning year, and then I still wasn’t all that happy. A lot of people in business and entrepreneurs, they find this out too. I want to help you maybe not find this out the hard way, or maybe you are like me and you’ve got to figure it out for yourselves. You are going to listen to what I have to say, and then you are going to put it aside and then you are going to do what you are going to do. Some lessons we’ve got to learn ourselves. We can only learn through experience. I’m cool with that too. If there’s some way that I can enlighten you and give you a bit of experience and wisdom here, then I’m going to try. I’m going to give it my best.
First off, I was so focused on success and business, making money that I was not at all connected to my wife. I was working all the time and chasing the next deal and chasing the next sale. I couldn’t take an hour out at any point in the day, my morning, afternoon, and evening to sit down, connect, and talk. Maybe watch a show, go golfing together, or whatever the case. I didn’t take the time to do that. It was literally two ships passing in the night. That doesn’t ever work because the source of most of your happiness, 85% of all your happiness in life comes from your relationships with other human beings.85% of all your happiness in life comes from your relationships with other human beings. Click To Tweet
We know that the number one relationship, next to our creators, is with our spouse. It was my fault for sure. I wasn’t all that connected, then I wasn’t all that happy and fulfilled. That was something that you’ve got to make sure that you are present to because we get busy. I know entrepreneurs get super busy, and dialed into building, grinding, and growing. Be on guard for this creeping into your lives.
I see it. I have had younger entrepreneurs come to me and tell me about this, and then I tell them, “Here’s what I would do. I’d focus on this. I’d go to counseling.” There’s nothing wrong with going to counseling if you are in that spot. They go back. They change for a week, and then they are back to where they were before. That road eventually leads to a crash. You want to catch yourself before you get to that point.
The second thing is I let my competitive side get out of control as I thought I needed to prove myself. That’s my primary strength is competitiveness. I’m sure for a lot of you are fierce competitors, even if you would like to admit it or not. To be successful in business, you’ve got to have some level of competitiveness within you. For me, that was it. That’s my number one strength, but it’s also my number one weakness because it can get totally unchecked and out of hand if I don’t harness it correctly.
Money was my new way after being out of the sports game. I don’t compete in sports. I don’t compete in golf when I go out and play golf. I just go out to compete with myself and get better. I never find it was good for me to compete with other people in that game. I start focusing too much on the competition instead of enjoying it, but that was my way of keeping score. This is a game you’ll frankly never win because there are always going to be millions more out there who are going to do better than you. At the end of the day, a lot of them find out if they do win it, that they won that game at the expense of being happy and at the expense of being fulfilled. You’ve got to be careful and be on guard to competitiveness and comparing yourself to others.
Number three, this happens a lot with entrepreneurs in the grind and trying to grow is that they neglect their personal outlets. Your hobbies, things where when you play, you are like a kid again, and you lose all sense of time awareness. That’s how you know that you are in your outlet, when you don’t even think about time at all. You are totally immersed in it. You are not looking at the clock or watch. You are in the zone and you are loving it. You are enjoying yourself.
I love playing poker and I love shooting the crap with the guys, making fun of each other, have a couple of cocktails. Totally immersed in the competition and camaraderie. I love it. I love getting outside and golfing and trying to improve and get better, being out in nature. I don’t get outside enough. Getting outside, getting the fresh air, getting some exercise, and playing a game that I love, I completely drop those things in order to make money and to make deals.
That will catch up to you. You can do it for a period of time, and I’m not telling you not to go hyper-focused and all in on growth and business because there are seasons and there are times where you need to be totally dialed in and not get distracted with other things. You go too long especially as a man. Men need outlets. Not to say that women do too, you don’t either.
I don’t understand women. I don’t get you. I don’t get how you can go shopping, and that’s an outlet for you. I don’t get how you are wired. It’s harder for me to say what’s an outlet for you or how important it is, but I know for men, if we don’t get an outlet, it’s chipping away our very soul. It’s chipping away at us and we get more and more down in life. You’ve got to get these outlets in. You’ve got to go do the thing that you love to do.You have to have some outlet and do what you love to do because things will catch up with you. Click To Tweet
One of my guys on my team loves to play music. I told him, “Until you get that outlet, at least figure out how to get it a part of your life back in. You are going to be depressed. You are not going to be feeling your happiest. You’ve got to get that in. Figure out how to get that outlet and that hobby back into your life.”
Another thing that I have found out is that I didn’t have fulfillment. I had success. Success comes from what you get. I had the money coming in, lots of it. We had a nice car, the Tesla. I had the big dream house. I could buy pretty much whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I threw a 40th birthday party, which cost $15,000 to $20,000. It was amazing. It was a two-night party that will go down in history as the best 40th party. That’s my competitive side coming out.
What I found is that I didn’t have fulfillment because a lot of the people that I was pouring into, they graduated. This is part of the stages of growth and entrepreneurialism. You’ll have somebody that you are mentoring and you are pouring into, and then they grow up and they graduate. In this case, the people that I was mentoring, they grew up. They graduated high school, college, and then they got their Master’s degree, and then probably would only also get their Doctorate. At that point, what is it that I have to teach them or to pour into them? They know more about this business and a lot of it than I do.
I didn’t have that fulfillment any longer, and I didn’t replace that fulfillment with people to mentor. I need to be able to pour into people, and that’s fulfillment. That’s what makes me happy. That’s why I finally got out of my comfort zone and launched this platform because I knew something was missing. I didn’t know exactly what it was.
It took a few months of asking questions and going to coaches and introspection, going off golfing for several hours by myself, so I could be alone and be at peace with my own thoughts and try to figure out what is it that was missing? What is it that I needed to bring into my life to get that next level of fulfillment? By having this platform, even though it’s small right now, I’m happy. I’m enjoying it.
I love producing this content for you. It could be one person listening right now. I know it’s more than that because I see the downloads. I try not to focus on the downloads. I’m trying to focus on producing incredible and valuable content that can make a difference helping younger entrepreneurs and professionals to not only master the money game and grow wealth, but to create whole-life success.
Another thing that I did, I took on a client who my instincts told me I should not, but I didn’t listen. I had to work through this one because it ended up costing me a lot. It’s still costly. I struggled because I was beating myself up for a long time, “Why did you do it? Your instincts told you not to do it. You knew you shouldn’t have taken them on as a client and you did anyways.”
On a call with my business coaches, they said, “You did the very best that you could with the knowledge and skills that you had at that time. You did the best that you could, so you need to practice forgiveness of yourself. You need to go back in time and essentially have a conversation with yourself and say, ‘You did the best you could. You had great intentions. It didn’t work out. You were going to learn a great lesson, or you already have learned a great lesson. You need to forgive yourself and let it be and be at peace with it.’”
When I did that, it was energetically freeing. If you have something in your life like maybe a financial mistake, and I got plenty of those. I had to go back in time and forgive myself for the financial mistakes that I have made because I think I should be a lot further along than I am even though we have a multimillion-dollar portfolio, I still have regret. I still have some bitterness about things that have happened. Mistakes I have personally made and partnerships that I formed that didn’t serve me at all were very detrimental.
I had to go back in time and I had to say, “You did the fucking best you could. Chill out and everything is going to be okay.” I want to tell you to go back and have that conversation. It may seem stupid, but it’s going to free up so much space and energy that you can then move forward and make better decisions because you have more knowledge now. You have more experience and wisdom.
You are going to be able to not make that mistake again, and you are going to be able to pour into somebody else and hopefully help them avoid that mistake as well. You can figure this all out on your own and make these mistakes. If you want true authenticity and building your multimillion-dollar net worth, but do it in a way that creates balance in your life, then follow me on my other platforms as well.
I have an Instagram handle, @IndestructibleWealth. I’m even on TikTok, which is pretty much the same stuff. The Instagram Reels or what’s on my Instagram account, I repurpose it on TikTok. That’s hilarious. I’m on TikTok. My teenage nieces were making fun of me. I showed them one of my Reels. They are like, “Who’s going to watch that?” That was great.
I’ve got four followers on TikTok right now. My count went up from 2 to 4. I was like, “In your face, Ava.” She’s the oldest of my nieces. We have a $20 per platform bet that in ten weeks from now, I’m going to beat her in total followers on both platforms, Instagram and TikTok. Stay tuned. Let’s see how this works out. I need you guys to go follow me there so I beat her because I need that $20. That’s going to be so good.
I told her, “With that $20, I am going to buy the most incredible pizza of my entire life. I’m going to eat it, take a picture or video, and send it to you with your money.” I cannot wait. I hope this helps. Remember, the original meaning of wealth is well-being. If you are going to master the money game and build wealth the right way, then we need to have balance, and most of all, we need to have well-being.