What do you value most? Family? Money? Your Health? If you have spiritual faith, how does that fit in?
In this episode, I share some humble pie, as well as what I have learned about setting priorities for a truly fulfilling life that provides value and care for myself and others.
Want to learn more? Visit me at www.myindestructiblewealth.com
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Prioritizing The Four “F”s: Faith, Family, Fitness And Finance
I’m excited to talk to you about this episode’s topic, the Four Fs and no, one of them is not the F-bomb, surprisingly. It has nothing to do with the Four Fs at all. Before we dive into that, I want to tell you a little bit about my course that just launched, not in terms of promoting the course. It’s done and over with. It started. It’s launched. You can’t get in now. That part doesn’t matter but in terms of what my expectations were and the reality of what happened. I’m going to be authentic and transparent as I always am. I was rather disappointed with the results but also my expectations were out of whack in terms of what results were probable and possible.
This is the biggest thing that happens to a lot of us in business. This is the third company that I’ve started. The plan for this business is to be a for-profit company. It’s not a charitable operation, although, it certainly feels like it on most days. My goal here is to build something scalable, big and impactful. I know that’s going to probably in all likelihood take a few years to make that happen.
I’m in for the long haul, the commitment and the ups and the downs. I’ve signed up for that. I did all the introspection soul-searching and realized that there’s only one way to play any game that I get in and that’s to play it for the long haul. That means five-year is my minimum hold time, whether that’s an investment, a new business or a relationship.
I had about 28 people that were on my waitlist. I expected most of them to sign up for the course. When you get yourself on a waitlist, it means I’m interested in doing this course. When it gets open, I’m going to sign up, enroll and do it. What happened was not the 28 signed up. I did fill up the first course or pretty close. 7 out of 8 slots filled up. That was awesome and had a great first class. I got a lot of positive feedback. I’m super excited to be working with other humans and pouring in, coaching and helping develop, giving a lot of extra value. My goal with the course is to deliver ten times the value that I am charging. I fully expect that I’ll be able to do that with the tax strategies alone.
Some of the different things that I go into that I won’t be able to go into on a free episode or social media type platform, I’m going to deliver 10X value for what the price is. Out of the 28 on the waitlist, only 1 signed up. It’s interesting about the email service that I utilize. It’s called an ActiveCampaign and it tells me how many times people open an email, which is scary, the Big Brother-type shit. Multiple people opened the email more than 2 or even 3 times. We had some open up as many as 22 times and I’m able to see that. I know that if you open the email, you’re interested. If you open it 2 or 3, you’re very interested and more than that, you want to do it.There's only one way to play any game: to play it for the long haul. Click To Tweet
I reached out to the people that hadn’t registered, made a commitment and asked them if there were any other questions that I could answer or anything. There were crickets in response. What’s interesting and I want to relate this to you is that our expectations, when we go to do something, typically are not met. The way we think that it’s going to go typically is not even close to the reality and the results that we achieve.
We can get down on ourselves for not filling up. I thought it was going to easily fill up 3 courses with 24 people. Not doing that, did that emotionally set me back? I couldn’t get on Zoom and do an episode. I was distraught about it. I’m pumped out. All these episodes, Instagram and these LinkedIn posts, yet so few are raising their hand and taking that next level step. That next commitment is to sign up for the course.
I had to come to grips with the fact and I consulted with other people that are content creators. They said, “Your audience is not big enough for you to be able to hit those sales targets in all reality.” I’ve got to continually focus on audience acquisition. I believe that it’s probably the same for most of you in your businesses. The main focus that you should be working on is audience acquisition. How do you get more people to be seeing your message and your content and learn more about your product, service and offering? How do you get in front of more people? You should be focusing on scaling that up.
Yes, working on delivering a better message and helping them to make better decisions and working on your sales, your copy or whatever that looks like but at the end of the day, where most of us make the mistake is that our sales or conversions are lagging. Not for any other reason than we don’t have a big enough scaled-up audience to justify the expectations and the targets that we have for our business.
This is what I’m focused on. I’m back. I didn’t take any long time off. It’s just a week. I’m in this for the long haul. It’s a five-year play. That’s how I would suggest that you approach your businesses. When I offer another course, sign the fuck up. No, I’m kidding. If the value is there that makes sense for you and the timing’s right, great. I had a lot of people that reached out that wanted to do the course but said, “The timing is not right now. I’m in the middle of this season or this number of projects.”
It’s no problem. At the end of the day, I realize I don’t care that much. I got to go golfing, which was where I was going to launch and have another course for another eight people but I didn’t have it. I had a great day and golfed well. I enjoyed myself. I’m like, “I’m not going to worry about it.” What I would say for you is care enough sometimes not to care.
The Four Fs To A Good Life
In this episode, what I want to dive into is talking to you about the Four Fs. If you have these in the right priority, it is going to make for a long, happy and sustainable life. Everything that I try to teach is all focused on creating long-term sustainability in your financial life, relationships, health and everything. This platform is focused on wealth but I do believe that health is as well. A good quality relationship is worth a lot more than money. Your faith is an incredible source of fulfillment and a high level of wealth.
I want to talk to you about how I feel in terms of what’s worked for me and what I see working for others when you have these in the right order. Number one, the first F is Fate. When I put this first, everything else seems to fall into place. Trust me when I say this, there have been times and there are certainly times when it slips down the list. I noticed that when I started this platform, I was so hyper-focused on getting the content out, the money and focused on all things finance because that’s what I’m studying and constantly continually learning so I can keep putting out incredible opportunities for you guys to invest in and great guests and content but I found that it was slipping a bit.
Saying that is one thing but are your actions aligned and showing that this is the first in your life? For some of you, this may not resonate because for whatever reason this isn’t the stage of life that you’re in and I get it. Many years ago, I probably would not have heard this message a whole lot, to be honest, but realistically, this is what changed my life. When I got my faith in terms of the actions that I was taking because I would have said that my faith was number one but the actions that we’re taking were not in alignment with the words that were coming out of my mouth.
I was talking about a big game but the walk was not there. What does it look like? Real simply, for us, we found a place that spiritually nourishes us. We go every week. We love going. I wake up every Sunday morning and I can’t wait to go to church. I look forward to the message. The message is relevant to me. I do not feel like I’m talked down to. I feel like I’m lifted and inspired. I resonate with it. It’s real-world relevancy and there’s modern-day music that’s being played. It’s a cool, high-energy, modern and inclusive place.A quality relationship is worth a lot more than money. Click To Tweet
Once we found the place that resonated with us in our energy vibrations, our beliefs and what we needed to create a better connection with our creator, then we started taking a percentage of our income every month and giving or what’s called in the Christian faith tithing. We started giving every single month. It was years ago when we started doing this. Several years ago, I was put to the test. We were trying to save up for our dream house.
The last thing I wanted to do is part with my cash. I wanted to start hoarding it and saving so that I would be able to make the down payment and get the house that we wanted. I remember the morning I was contemplating, “Do I give this? Do I write the check? Do I not?” I’m like, “Just trust. Put your money where your mouth is so to speak. Believe that in due time when you’re ready, it’s all going to work out.” I wrote the check. It was a substantial amount. It’s like, “This feels like this is the right move.”
That day, about two hours later, I don’t know why I was online. I don’t even ever get online to look at houses but I saw the house that we’re in now, our dream home. I immediately knew that was the one because a year earlier, we tried to buy a house in this neighborhood but we couldn’t sell the house that we were in so we weren’t able to get it. When we were touring the neighborhood, I said to Kira, “If that house ever gets on the market, we are buying it. That’s our dream house.”
I saw the house online. Kira is normally the one that sees. I saw it. I called the realtor. We got our offer a day before somebody else did. We were able to buy and secure this home. I do not believe that that is a coincidence. I believe that we were being tested and we passed the test. We were able to be blessed with a house that we were able to buy.
In all reality, this house would take at least $1.2 million if we were to build it from scratch and we got into the house for $700,000, which was an unbelievable blessing. That’s that story. I’ve never shared that before on this show but I’ve always wanted to. What else does operating your faith in the actual walk look like? For me, in the morning when I wake up, I get into the word a little bit. I pick up the Bible and read and I am able to pay attention. I either fall asleep or lose focus.
I’m thinking about business or maybe the next investment or so. I can’t do it. I tried it multiple times. What works for me is I get a book that has maybe 1 or 2 scriptures in it and then they use a modern-day reference. This is funny but I have a book that my golf coach gave to me that has every chapter. There’s a scripture and a way that they explain how it relates to golf. That’s worked well for me to be able to get into the word but also have something that relates to me and something that I’m pursuing that I’m interested in.
I’ve found that books that have the author’s perspective or their translation of scripture have made a huge difference for me to be able to in the morning, first thing, for a few minutes, even to get into the word and to start my day off with a very positive message with the truth. I love that I found that strategy. I wanted to share that with you. If that hits you, great. If it doesn’t work for you, let’s move on.
Number two is family. If I go back to the why, when I was nineteen, why did I get started in business? When I have presented with an opportunity to be able to make money that came disguised as hard work, why did I say yes? In my mind at that time was my future family. At nineteen, I didn’t have a family. I didn’t even have a girlfriend but there were long droughts where I didn’t. It’s shocking but my game wasn’t on point at age nineteen. It’s because I was still wearing my free t-shirts from my sophomore year of high school basketball camp. That didn’t woo the ladies so to speak.
The entire reason I started into entrepreneurship and then saved and banked the money and invested at a very young age was that I wanted to have plenty of time to be with my future family. I knew I was going to have one and find my dream wife, a trophy wife. I knew that was going to happen. I knew it was going to be a struggle and it was. I did land my dream girl. I wanted to be able to never miss something important because of work. I didn’t want to be in a position where I had to make a decision between making my boss happy or going on this business trip for my company to where I would then trade off something important that I wanted to do or be a part of or be there for my family and my kids.
Being in business has given me the total flexibility to be able to do what I want when I want to do it and with whom I want to do it. That’s primarily my wife and my children. I feel that when I have this at the top of the priority list, then the rest of it flows and it goes the way it should go, which is growth. Number three is fitness. Surprisingly, all you hear from me is talk about wealth and investing in money. You’re probably like, “That’s fourth on the list.” It is fourth on the list. Fitness is ahead of finances.Entrepreneurship can give you the flexibility to do what you want, when you want to do it, and who you want to do it with. Click To Tweet
There have been some months where fitness did not prioritize over money and I’ll look back at the quarantine where we were stuck inside. The gym was closed. I couldn’t go to the gym and lift, which is what I like to do. I couldn’t get into so much the at-home workouts. I need to be in a gym. That’s where I feel the best. For my body, it’s what I need to do is be lifting weights. I’m an ectomorph. I have trouble building muscle and keeping muscle on. I have a very high metabolism.
I was quarantined and that’s where I can tell you when fitness went way down the list and I felt terrible. I told Kira, “Is how this how most Americans are doing it? I feel awful.” I was sedentary most of the day. We were probably drinking too much, a little bit too much bourbon. A little bit it’s okay but that was quite a substantial amount. I am not working out. I was probably not as careful about what our food choices were. I put on a few pounds and felt awful.
Anyone who has wealth but loses their health would trade all their money for their health back. I guarantee it. Health is absolute wealth. I’m not performing at my peak when my fitness is off. There are lots of studies done about people and their earning ability, what’s an earning power when they are in good shape and fitness versus substantially overweight and not in good shape. The earning power is substantially different.
There are lots of reasons that go into that but when your body temple is not at its peak, then that affects everything else, including your energy and your ability to think clearly and your productivity. There is simply no way for you to make the same level of high-level decisions and perform at your absolute best when you’re getting this drag on everything with your health and your fitness. For me, I need to go to the gym and lift weights, not just for aesthetics or to look good. We all want that. I know that. For guys, what’s important is testosterone. It’s like Superman having kryptonite next to him. You are weakened. You’re not the same man that you could be.
Lifting weights helps boost testosterone in men. The gym is your friend, as my doctor tells me. Sometimes I’ve gotten off track. During summer, a lot of times, I’m not as strict about going to the gym because I want to be outside golfing. She said, “You got to do it because it’s very vitally important to keeping your testosterone at prime level.” Energy levels and everything is affected in the male body with testosterone. It’s another reason why you got to be conscious about your personal fitness because so much revolves around your ability to perform at your top level with your testosterone levels.
What’s number four of the Fs? It’s Finances. This is where it belongs. You can’t tell me seriously and authentically that finances belong above any of the three previous things that I’ve said for a long, happy, sustainable and truly wealthy life. Could it be that occasionally the finances are so dragging the others down that you need to hyper-focus on that and maybe that moves up into the priority list a little bit higher than the other things? Certainly, that’s going to be the case. There is nothing wrong with that on a short-term basis. I am 100% aligned with that.
However, if finances stay at the top and making money is the priority, staring at your investment accounts and all of that is consuming you and it gets into your heart, then that is primetime for a crash in your life because everything’s out of whack. When things get out of whack, somehow we get self-corrected. Either we self-sabotage it or the universe hits us in the face and smacks us around. It gives us challenges and problems to help us to see and more clearly redefine what’s important in our lives.
Guard your priorities. You won’t always be perfect. You’ll mess them up. You’re human. Cut yourself some slack. It’s okay but get back on track. I do believe that if you take this episode to real heart and do some introspection, look at, “Where honestly are my priorities? Where am I ranking in the four Fs? Do I have some of these? Are they way out of whack? Do I have other things that I’ve allowed into my mind, my priorities and my heart that aren’t serving me for the long-term sustainability that I desire?” Take a look at that and let’s readjust.
If you want to discuss this with me privately, feel free. Hit me up on LinkedIn or Instagram. Message me. I do respond the same day. I got to go to the Verizon store and get my private text line fixed but I’ll have that fixed shortly for you. If you want to privately text me as well, you can do that. I’m open and welcome to the conversation. If you feel like you’re off track in this area, I love to give you any wisdom or my take on your unique situation.
If you want somebody to bounce some ideas off of or anything, please feel free to reach out. I would ask for a proper value exchange to take place. I’m providing value for you. I feel like what I give is extremely valuable content. This content that I’m pouring out, I’m downloading to you for free everything that’s in my head and heart. I’m not holding anything back.Anyone who has wealth, but loses their health, would trade all their money for their health back. Click To Tweet
Certain investments, I am holding back to my coaching clients and one-to-one clients. There is that but for the most part, you get pretty much everything. What I want you to consider is if you’re getting great value, please share this show, promote it on your social media or send it to people privately that you think could benefit. If there’s a certain episode that you want to share with somebody that you think could serve them, please do that. If it’s not giving you that level of value, then that’s okay too. Don’t share it.
I also would appreciate it if you could go on and give me a five-star review. It cranks the algorithm up when you give me those reviews. A five-star rating and a written review or a testimonial are hugely valuable in terms of helping me grow the show to reach more people. Not only that. Words of affirmation and words of praise are so valuable to me. It’s more valuable to me than money, to be honest. It’s anything positive that you can share that you’ve learned from the platform.
Thank you so much. I appreciate all of you for being a part of this journey. I’m learning with you and I do know this though. The four Fs are something that is 30 years, 40 years or 50 years from now, I’ll be saying the same thing. That’s a long-term sustainable play that’s going to work out for you for the rest of your lives. With that, I’ll see you in the next episode. Have a great day.